If I said life were easy right now, I'd be lying and yet telling the truth.
It's easy because I've got the schedule down- Get up, go to the gym, go to work, come home and study the scriptures/ swim/ play guitar or piano/ eat/ and then go to bed. Wake up, and repeat the cycle again.
The other half of my schedule consists of thinking. And usually, it's too much thinking. Too much thinking about the future, what I can't do now, who I wish was here, who I wish wasn't leaving. This awkward phase of my life is what I call... Limbo. The stage where life suddenly slows down to an almost complete stop, and your left wondering how the year before had gone by so fast.
And then there's Cam. My sweet and ever-positive missionary who faithfully writes me as much as I write him. Unfortunately, those letters only come once about every week and a half. I try to be positive with our situation but truth be told, IT SUCKS. It's not easy only getting to communicate by letters, but it definitely makes your relationship grow stronger. I admire him for his ability to stay focused and write such meaningful letters to me. Love him.
I am so excited to serve as a missionary, but if it were up to me I would love to leave NOW. I guess the Arizonan heat and the lack of scenery make you go a little crazy after awhile.
I think the hardest thing for me to handle is the fact that my best friend leaves for her mission to Boise soon. I can't put into words how much she has helped me develop into the woman I am becoming. She is so headstrong and is always by my side, and I'm so excited for her to go in the field, but not seeing each other for about 24 months is going to be hard on me.
This next phase of my life (the mission) is going to require all my physical, mental, and spiritual strength. I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but it will be the most amazing experience I have in this life. I'm ready to teach the people of Houston about Christ, and how he lives, and how he loves us. After I went through the temple, I told my mom "I saw Christ. I didn't actually see him, but his presence was so strong there I just knew he was there. He's real mom, he's real."
I have an unshakeable testimony that HE LIVES. He loves us, and he wants us to return to be with him. I take upon myself the responsibility to gather his sheep and to help them return back to him.
God speed to all the elders and sisters just leaving or that are already in the field.
To the sisters, as Emma Smith said, "Sisters, we are going to do something extraordinary."
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Focus.
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| Clay H. © |
I really like this picture for two reasons:
#1: It focuses on what I find most important in my life.
#2: It's nighttime. And sometimes it's harder to focus on the good things when it's dark, but this picture obviously shows the temple as clear as day.
I've found in life lately my priorities have been getting out of focus, then back in focus, and back out again. I'm trying my best to not stray from the right path, but it's much easier said than done.
First things first: MY MISSION PAPERS ARE TURNED IN. I am awaiting the arrival of the famous white glorious envelope. I am nervous about where I am going, but I know the Lord where put me exactly where I need to be, I have no doubt about that. Updates coming soon!
I'm home now and I'm working a full-time job as an intern for communications and web development. It's very demanding and very stressful at times, but I love what I'm learning and I'm receiving the best knowledge from some of the best teachers on the subjects. However. I'm learning that the workplace is yet another one of the places where the world can speak louder than my own thoughts.
As I'm sure you all know (which I was unaware of) the workforce of women is becoming increasing larger in size. And as I join this workforce, I say Brava to the ladies who work day in and day out to make a living and live out their dreams in a successful career. It is no small task to be a working woman. But I'm realizing as I focus in on what I want to become, it does not involve the workplace. It involves the home.
As I have been working in the office, I feel a sense of urgency to continue to move up the career ladder. I truly do want to move up. But that's not what I was called to do. In fact, I was called to be a mother, the most important job that the world does not offer as it should. I feel a sense of selfishness if I continue to work like I am now when I get married. My poor kids up in heaven will be saying "Mom, what about us?"
I'm learning new concepts every day. As I progress and move forward, I'm not always sure of what I need to do, but I know that God knows what I need to do. And with his guidance, I hope to move forward and become all that he wants me to be. Because in the end, that's all that matters.
When I focus in, that's what matters most. My family and me for eternity, sealed in the temple and never having to live a day without one another.
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Nocturnal Notions.
It's around that time of the night when I'm about thirty minutes into my "I think I'm almost asleep phase" when suddenly my brain kicks in and sleep is no longer an option.
It's a blessing and a curse.
Obviously it's a curse because well, I need my beauty sleep. (Hereditary under-eye circles and a lack of sleep equal a very scary looking Sadie.) It's sort of a blessing because I remember things I'm supposed to do, I think about the things I look forward to, and I think about the future. Most people would consider this to also be a curse but I've come to like it. There's some days I want to shut it off but how often do you get to just ponder all the things you really want to think about, not just thinking about "Oh I have to think about the errands I need to run" or thoughts like that.
My thoughts right now are turned towards home. HOME HOME HOME HOME THERE'S NO FREAKIN PLACE LIKE HOME. My exact thoughts. I miss the heat. I miss the sun. I miss my family. I miss being able to walk outside and feel like your dying inside. I miss being tan. I miss the lake. I miss fresh food. I miss my room. I miss my horses. I miss my pool. I miss my AZ friends.
And I get to have it all back in a few days :) Two to be exact!
Don't get me wrong, I'm gonna miss Provo a lot. This past year has been the best of times and the worst of times (Name that author), but it has shaped me into a person I didn't know I had capabilities of becoming. I've grown up so much, I'VE even noticed. Of course I still feel really young sometimes, but I've learned some valuable lessons from being on my own. It's been a privilege to come to BYU. Honestly.
My first blog post about BYU was about how I wanted to create a legacy. I realize now that is a lot to live up to, and I know I can accomplish it but it will take more time than planned. I also realize that being up here has prepared me to go on a mission! Living on my own, learning constantly, living with someone 24/7 is all part of the mission standards. I couldn't have received that knowledge without this experience.
Here's to a new chapter in the book I'm writing, and even though these past pages have been filled with tear marks, a lot of white-out and a few missing pages, I wouldn't have traded it for anything.
Let's begin again.
It's a blessing and a curse.
Obviously it's a curse because well, I need my beauty sleep. (Hereditary under-eye circles and a lack of sleep equal a very scary looking Sadie.) It's sort of a blessing because I remember things I'm supposed to do, I think about the things I look forward to, and I think about the future. Most people would consider this to also be a curse but I've come to like it. There's some days I want to shut it off but how often do you get to just ponder all the things you really want to think about, not just thinking about "Oh I have to think about the errands I need to run" or thoughts like that.
My thoughts right now are turned towards home. HOME HOME HOME HOME THERE'S NO FREAKIN PLACE LIKE HOME. My exact thoughts. I miss the heat. I miss the sun. I miss my family. I miss being able to walk outside and feel like your dying inside. I miss being tan. I miss the lake. I miss fresh food. I miss my room. I miss my horses. I miss my pool. I miss my AZ friends.
And I get to have it all back in a few days :) Two to be exact!
Don't get me wrong, I'm gonna miss Provo a lot. This past year has been the best of times and the worst of times (Name that author), but it has shaped me into a person I didn't know I had capabilities of becoming. I've grown up so much, I'VE even noticed. Of course I still feel really young sometimes, but I've learned some valuable lessons from being on my own. It's been a privilege to come to BYU. Honestly.
My first blog post about BYU was about how I wanted to create a legacy. I realize now that is a lot to live up to, and I know I can accomplish it but it will take more time than planned. I also realize that being up here has prepared me to go on a mission! Living on my own, learning constantly, living with someone 24/7 is all part of the mission standards. I couldn't have received that knowledge without this experience.
Here's to a new chapter in the book I'm writing, and even though these past pages have been filled with tear marks, a lot of white-out and a few missing pages, I wouldn't have traded it for anything.
Let's begin again.
Saturday, April 13, 2013
More Than Words.
It's so easy to get caught up in what our world has to offer today. Facebook. Twitter. Snapchat. Instragram. Who said what. What's in fashion. Who's hot, who's not. What happened in the Middle East today? What's for dinner? She said what?? Politics. Money. Fame. Fortune.
Ever wish it would just....
STOP.
I had a moment tonight where I could just sit in silence and think. How many times a day do you offer yourself that delicacy? I suppose, not nearly enough as you ought to be. And what was I thinking about?
Love. Not the kind the world offers. Pure love. True, unadulterated love. Specifically, the love Christ has for me. And for everyone that has ever walked this earth, and everyone that ever will. I had the opportunity to attend a Passover feast that consisted of real authentic Jewish descendants leading a large group of people in the ways of the Passover. Not only was it very interesting, but it really pierced my heart. After the meal and rituals and prayers were offered, the man leading the discussion began to talk about how Christ led the Passover. Before Christ, it was commanded that a young lamb was to be offered as a sacrifice. The best of the flock, the whitest, the purest. Smitten, and offered up to God. In replacement of the lamb, Jesus offered himself up as a sacrifice. He committed no sins, he had done no wrongs. In fact, he went around healing those who were afflicted. He comforted those who were weak, and he forgave even the vilest of sinners. Yet, he was chosen to be sacrificed. For who?
FOR US. Us, everyday sinners, who hardly take the time to recognize what a great significance Christ's actions had on our lives. The man went on to explain how painful it was for Jesus to be on the cross. Because of the arms extended out, and the way the feet are nailed to the cross, a person nailed on the cross will suffocate unless they push up on the nails to get a breath. They continue this until they are too weak to push up anymore, and they suffocate. And Christ, the most highest of all, went through these horrific pains because why? Because he loves us. He loves us enough to suffer not only the cross, but the pains at Gethsemane, and to bear all of Satan's hosts bearing down on him while he was on the cross. Above all, he did it all alone. He walked that path alone so WE WILL NEVER HAVE TOO.
I went with a good friend to this event on a date, with another couple. After it was over, we went out and talked about the things we had witnessed. We talked about our missions. We talked about a lot of things. And I have never been so grateful to be able to talk to someone. To me, I realize, a simple gesture that I truly love is when I can talk to someone openly just about anything.
Then I had the opportunity to talk to my little sister. She is a gem above all others, she is very wise beyond her years and she is (almost) as good at giving advice as I am :). We talked about school, friends, drama, and I felt like I was talking to myself when I was in seventh grade. Do girls ever get less mean and realize the stupid things they say to one another? I guess not, and the pattern seems to get worse. I love her for her courage to be able to stand up for herself and her friends, something I was incapable of doing at her age. And I, once again, felt the love I have for, and how much I miss her and my family. It's amazing when you go to college you finally begin to understand what your family means to you.
I believe in Jesus Christ. I know that with all my heart he lives, and he loves, and he forgives. I'm so grateful to know this life isn't the end. With God, nothing ends. If we put our trust in Him and allow ourselves to be purged of the world, we can become like God and worry about the things that really matter. How blessed I am to have the knowledge that my Redeemer lives, and loves me. I cannot wait to share this gospel of joy on my mission, because I know it can change the lives of so many people who need it. Everyone needs this knowledge, and I hope to spread the good news the best way I can.
He lives.
Friday, March 22, 2013
Called to Serve.
Called to Serve. Return with Honor.
These statements give me the chills. Mostly because they will apply to me soon.... I cannot wait to be a missionary in the Lord's work. I found this awesome video about all the other soon-to-be sister missionaries.
I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is true. God is pushing his work forward and I know that it will continue until he comes again. Camron shared a quote with me the other day that I'd like to share with you:
"The standard of truth has been erected; no unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing; persecutions may arise, mobs may combine, armies may assemble, calumny may defame; but the truth of God will go forth oddly, nobly, and independent, till it has penetrated every continent, visited every clime, swept every country, and sounded in every ear, till the purposes of God shall be accomplished, and the Great Jehovah will say the work is done." -Joseph Smith
I am so blessed to have this opportunity. I start my papers this Sunday, and more updates will be coming soon :)
XOXOXO
These statements give me the chills. Mostly because they will apply to me soon.... I cannot wait to be a missionary in the Lord's work. I found this awesome video about all the other soon-to-be sister missionaries.
I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is true. God is pushing his work forward and I know that it will continue until he comes again. Camron shared a quote with me the other day that I'd like to share with you:
"The standard of truth has been erected; no unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing; persecutions may arise, mobs may combine, armies may assemble, calumny may defame; but the truth of God will go forth oddly, nobly, and independent, till it has penetrated every continent, visited every clime, swept every country, and sounded in every ear, till the purposes of God shall be accomplished, and the Great Jehovah will say the work is done." -Joseph Smith
I am so blessed to have this opportunity. I start my papers this Sunday, and more updates will be coming soon :)
XOXOXO
Monday, March 18, 2013
Not Like the Movies.
You know the scene. Girl admits love for the boy. Boy admits the same feelings for girl. Proceed to kiss and everyone goes "awww!"
If only real life situations were that easy! That never happens. Ever. Only in the movies. But then again, not all movies are about a girl waiting for the greatest missionary ever... :)
Anyways, here I am in my dorm room, trying to figure out if I should start my homework now, thinking about the next 5 weeks, because in 5 weeks school will be over. It's really exciting yet at the same time it's really sad, because I have to leave all my new friends I've made. Most girls are leaving on missions, so it might be another 2 years before I see any of them.
I've also been getting excited for my mission. I'm gonna start filling out my papers soon and then hopefully time will pass quickly until I get my call. I know wherever I go is where the Lord will want me to be. I can't wait to tell people about the happiness of the Gospel, the eternal joy that it can bring into their lives. What a great opportunity I have.
This weekend was so perfect, I got to go up to Brianhead with my family and friends, I can't help but wishing it lasted a little longer.
If only real life situations were that easy! That never happens. Ever. Only in the movies. But then again, not all movies are about a girl waiting for the greatest missionary ever... :)
Anyways, here I am in my dorm room, trying to figure out if I should start my homework now, thinking about the next 5 weeks, because in 5 weeks school will be over. It's really exciting yet at the same time it's really sad, because I have to leave all my new friends I've made. Most girls are leaving on missions, so it might be another 2 years before I see any of them.
I've also been getting excited for my mission. I'm gonna start filling out my papers soon and then hopefully time will pass quickly until I get my call. I know wherever I go is where the Lord will want me to be. I can't wait to tell people about the happiness of the Gospel, the eternal joy that it can bring into their lives. What a great opportunity I have.
This weekend was so perfect, I got to go up to Brianhead with my family and friends, I can't help but wishing it lasted a little longer.
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| Coco came to Poly dance class with me! |
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| Beautiful Momma I have |
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| Greatest family ever |
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| G baby got her braces off! |
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| Love these girls with all my heart |
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| Cheers to the freakin weekend |
Monday, March 4, 2013
Life in Pictures
Feeling a little too tired for words tonight, so here's some pics from the last couple days. Enjoy :)
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| Me and Madisen at the Gonzaga game |
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| Despite our awesome crowd, we lost by 5 |
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| That same night Cameron left :( |
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| Next day we took missionary pics at the temple! |
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| Love these geels. |
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| Saturday, the 2nd floor and 3rd floor boys played a tough game. 3rd floor won. |
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| Paul. I'm his number 1 fan. |
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| And finally we went to Mass on Sunday. Interesting experience! |
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Pixie Shots and Polka Dots
Happy Valentine's Day! (or Single Awareness Day, whichever way you want to look at it.)
Although it was a pretty normal day, I had the opportunity to be a part of something... well... a little off.
It's called the Harlem Shake, and it's blowing up everywhere. We did one today in the Wilk, I'm the one in the pink jacket on the far right. Very fun experience.
I get to go home tomorrow, so more updates will be coming about that! Have a great rest of your day, and it doesn't matter if you're single or not, you are loved!
Although it was a pretty normal day, I had the opportunity to be a part of something... well... a little off.
It's called the Harlem Shake, and it's blowing up everywhere. We did one today in the Wilk, I'm the one in the pink jacket on the far right. Very fun experience.
I get to go home tomorrow, so more updates will be coming about that! Have a great rest of your day, and it doesn't matter if you're single or not, you are loved!
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Armonìa.
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| My favorites. |
Tomorrow's Friday, so basically I've made it through another week! Cheers to that.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
The Most Beautiful Girl In the Room
Ladies and Gents, May I present my beautiful friend, Mrs. (almost) Annie! This was my first time being at her dress fitting (my first and her last). Doesn't she look stunning?? I am absolutely stoked (hehe) for her. (Her new last name will be Stoker).
Congratulations to her and Chris, they will make a beautiful couple, and I cannot wait to see them come out of the temple in a few months.
Monday, February 4, 2013
I Haven't Grown A Foot Or Two, But...
^This girl, SHE'S GOING ON A MISSION.
(Given the title of the post, I unfortunately have not grown a foot or two, but I'm going.)
I've made my decision, and I'm really proud of it. So grateful for all the opportunities my Heavenly Father is giving me, and I'm so glad he is aware of me and loves me. I know it won't be easy, but I know it is going to be worth it. So worth it. I will announce when I start my papers. Can't wait to go and do, serve the Lord and teach people what happiness is all about in this lifetime- The Gospel.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Begin Again
So grateful the Lord knows me well enough to know this would make a great start to my day:)
I also got a letter from my missionary's mom and my cute sister Gentry. Both were very sweet and thoughtful and it made me think, why don't I just always send letters? They make communication so much more worth it. So I decided for the month of February, I am only going to write letters to people! (I'll still blog and talk on the phone, but Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, and Instagram are banned.)
I think it's going to help me focus on what's most important, and help me be happier. It's all about attitude after all right?
If you want to write me, my address is:
2104 Stover Hall
Provo, UT 84604
I challenge you to get off the internet and find something better to do! I promise it will be a good experience. Thanks for all you do and keep sending the love!!
XOXOXOXOXOXO,
Sades
Tears Are Salty For A Reason
If life were easy, it wouldn't be hard, right?
I guess. I don't understand a lot of things about life, and I probably never will, but I do know that sometimes it can be really difficult to deal with. I feel like I have so many decisions to make right now, yet I don't want to decide anything. Here I am, sitting in a life-size snow globe in Provo, and I feel like Satan just keeps shaking it up to see what I will do next. What will I do next? Who knows.
Taking it one day at a time. That's the way to do it right? For me, taking it a day at a time means figuring out the next day while it's still today. (Another problem I have- The future is always in my brain.) Maybe I'm just a little crazy up there. Hence why I'm writing in the first hours of the morning, my insomnia seems to know me better than I do myself.
I recall posting the very first time I came up to BYU. It was about legacy. What kind of legacy am I creating? I have no idea what I'm going to do now. Almost everything I have planned has fallen through. Every detail. Do you know what I saw that gave me some hope though? A famous LDS singer, Mindy Gledhill, admitted a few days ago that she tried out for her high school musical, BYU women's chorus, and BYU Ambassadors, and did not make any of them. Every single one turned her down. And now? She's among the most popular LDS singers today. Not saying that I think I have a future in music like she does, but it reminded me that winners don't quit. When the going gets tough, the tough get going, etc, etc.
Even though I don't really understand my life right now, two things will always remain constant- I will never give up, and I know that my Heavenly Father will never give up on me. He is my greatest advocate right now, and even though I don't understand his plans, I know that he will mold me into the woman he wants me to become. What a blessing it is to know he loves and cares for me.
I'm praying that my brain will shut itself off soon. In the meantime, here's to the snow, the tears, and the years to come.
I guess. I don't understand a lot of things about life, and I probably never will, but I do know that sometimes it can be really difficult to deal with. I feel like I have so many decisions to make right now, yet I don't want to decide anything. Here I am, sitting in a life-size snow globe in Provo, and I feel like Satan just keeps shaking it up to see what I will do next. What will I do next? Who knows.
Taking it one day at a time. That's the way to do it right? For me, taking it a day at a time means figuring out the next day while it's still today. (Another problem I have- The future is always in my brain.) Maybe I'm just a little crazy up there. Hence why I'm writing in the first hours of the morning, my insomnia seems to know me better than I do myself.
I recall posting the very first time I came up to BYU. It was about legacy. What kind of legacy am I creating? I have no idea what I'm going to do now. Almost everything I have planned has fallen through. Every detail. Do you know what I saw that gave me some hope though? A famous LDS singer, Mindy Gledhill, admitted a few days ago that she tried out for her high school musical, BYU women's chorus, and BYU Ambassadors, and did not make any of them. Every single one turned her down. And now? She's among the most popular LDS singers today. Not saying that I think I have a future in music like she does, but it reminded me that winners don't quit. When the going gets tough, the tough get going, etc, etc.
Even though I don't really understand my life right now, two things will always remain constant- I will never give up, and I know that my Heavenly Father will never give up on me. He is my greatest advocate right now, and even though I don't understand his plans, I know that he will mold me into the woman he wants me to become. What a blessing it is to know he loves and cares for me.
I'm praying that my brain will shut itself off soon. In the meantime, here's to the snow, the tears, and the years to come.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Grateful.
My sweet missionary wrote me today. You can't read it but the address says to "my gurlll Sadie Maughan." He is now district leader (the youngest in history!!) and he is doing so good.
I've gotten so much love today too, so many people have texted me for no reason other than they wanted to say they loved and appreciated me, nothing feels better than that.
All in all, it was a good day. Thank the Lord for amazing missionaries like Elder Webster.
Monday, January 14, 2013
Nothing Good About Goodbyes.
Today my favorite soon-to-be Elder was set apart to be a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I am so proud of him, but it was really hard to say goodbye. At the turn of their 18th birthday, guys in the church have the opportunity to serve a full-time mission for 2 years, preaching the word of God to a place where they are called personally by the Prophet, Thomas S. Monson.
I'm also missing home today. It's been a spine-shivering 3 degrees this past week. Imagine your flesh freezing every time you walk out the door; that's what Provo is like right now.
Besides Cam and the weather, life hasn't been too shabby. I've really been getting into Preach My Gospel, a preparatory manuel to help you study to go into the mission field.... oh, did I mention I've been really thinking about a mission lately? It's such a good thought. Praying that God will let me know soon if that's the path I need to take.
Good luck in Atlanta Elder Webster. Return with Honor. <3
I'm also missing home today. It's been a spine-shivering 3 degrees this past week. Imagine your flesh freezing every time you walk out the door; that's what Provo is like right now.
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| Home is Arizona. |
Besides Cam and the weather, life hasn't been too shabby. I've really been getting into Preach My Gospel, a preparatory manuel to help you study to go into the mission field.... oh, did I mention I've been really thinking about a mission lately? It's such a good thought. Praying that God will let me know soon if that's the path I need to take.
Good luck in Atlanta Elder Webster. Return with Honor. <3
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| The Big Guy himself! He's so excited to get out in the field. I'm so happy for him :) |
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Advice.
Everyone needs it right? I've come across some really great advice and quotes lately.
"Seven days without prayer makes one weak."
"Popularity ends on yearbook signing day. Respect lasts forever."
"Cowards die many times before their deaths; The Valiant never taste death but once."
"Leadership is the confidence to stay out of step when everyone else is marching to the wrong tune."
"The best and most beautiful things in the world are not seen, but felt with the heart."
My mom's quote: "And it came to pass... and not to stay."
"The hardest things in life are usually the most worthwhile."
"If you're gonna waste time, make sure it's time well wasted."
"Find something to stand for, or you will fall for anything."
"There is no better way to thank God for your sight than helping someone in the dark"
"Never give up what you want most, for what you want at the moment."
"Why do you do what you do when you know what you know?
"No matter what you do, be the best at it."
"No risks? No rewards."
"Those who mind don't matter, those who matter don't mind."
"It is better to be sad with the right people, then happy with the wrong people."
"Good things to those who wait."
"Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game."
"Things do not change, we change."
"True character is revealed through the most trying times."
"Turn to face the sun, and the shadows fall behind you, it's always darkest before the dawn."
Happy Wednesday! Finish out the week strong.
"Seven days without prayer makes one weak."
"Popularity ends on yearbook signing day. Respect lasts forever."
"Cowards die many times before their deaths; The Valiant never taste death but once."
"Leadership is the confidence to stay out of step when everyone else is marching to the wrong tune."
"The best and most beautiful things in the world are not seen, but felt with the heart."
My mom's quote: "And it came to pass... and not to stay."
"The hardest things in life are usually the most worthwhile."
"If you're gonna waste time, make sure it's time well wasted."
"Find something to stand for, or you will fall for anything."
"There is no better way to thank God for your sight than helping someone in the dark"
"Never give up what you want most, for what you want at the moment."
"Why do you do what you do when you know what you know?
"No matter what you do, be the best at it."
"No risks? No rewards."
"Those who mind don't matter, those who matter don't mind."
"It is better to be sad with the right people, then happy with the wrong people."
"Good things to those who wait."
"Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game."
"Things do not change, we change."
"True character is revealed through the most trying times."
"Turn to face the sun, and the shadows fall behind you, it's always darkest before the dawn."
Happy Wednesday! Finish out the week strong.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Better Than The Last
Happy New Year everyone!
If I said it was a good year I would be lying. There definitely were lots of ups and downs, but I'm grateful for the emotional roller coaster that taught me so much. It shaped me into the person I want to become.
Some highlights of my year:
-Went to the coolest place on Earth: Manarola, Italy (And Spain and France and Switzerland)
-Getting into BYU
-First Time at General Conference (And THE NEW MISSIONARY ANNOUCEMENT!)
-Got used to having snow outside my window EVERY MORNING ;)
-And got to be in the most wonderful ward on BYU campus.
Here it is- NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS
1. Scripture/ Preach My Gospel/ Religious Study in the morning and at night
2. Exercise for at least 30 minutes 4 times a week
3. No C's in my classes
4. Healthier eating- fruit/and or salad with every meal (6 glasses of water a day too.)
5. Write in journal and blog once a week
We'll hope for the best. Here's to you and yours, let's make this year better than the last!
If I said it was a good year I would be lying. There definitely were lots of ups and downs, but I'm grateful for the emotional roller coaster that taught me so much. It shaped me into the person I want to become.
-Went to the coolest place on Earth: Manarola, Italy (And Spain and France and Switzerland)
-Getting into BYU
-First Time at General Conference (And THE NEW MISSIONARY ANNOUCEMENT!)
-Got used to having snow outside my window EVERY MORNING ;)
-And got to be in the most wonderful ward on BYU campus.
Here it is- NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS
1. Scripture/ Preach My Gospel/ Religious Study in the morning and at night
2. Exercise for at least 30 minutes 4 times a week
3. No C's in my classes
4. Healthier eating- fruit/and or salad with every meal (6 glasses of water a day too.)
5. Write in journal and blog once a week
We'll hope for the best. Here's to you and yours, let's make this year better than the last!
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Words Don't Mend Broken Hearts.
I really don't understand life sometimes. It can be perfect in a moment, complete chaos the next.
I had quite the experience Christmas Eve. It started off just like always, everyone's working to get the house clean, food is being made in the kitchen, Christmas music blaring through the speakers. And I was just about as happy as I could be! I was home, it wasn't snowing outside, my horses were home, and I was going to see my whole family.
Of course, chaos always ensues during perfect times like these. Literally 10 minutes before we are about to eat, my mom rushes through the garage door looking a little concerned. I asked her what was up.
"It's Shiner, he's not doing too well. Dad thinks he's sick. Don't go out there though!"
Funny, to tell me not to go out when one of my babies is sick. I immediately ran outside and stood watch while my dad took Shiner around in circles in the arena. He looked awful. He was sweating and breathing really hard. For a horse as athletic as him to look this way, I already knew it was worse than my mom had described. As they walked around, Shiner began to wobble and fall over. Finally my dad had to lay him down on the ground. He rolled on his back from time to time and looked like he was in an awful amount of pain. My mom had previously called the vet and we were anxiously awaiting her arrival. 10 minutes, 20 minutes past. I was getting angry. 40 minutes later she showed up and casually walked up to inspect the scene.
I already didn't like her. As she checked Shiner's heartbeat, blood pressure, etc etc everything came up normal. She checked his anal and that was also fine as she could tell. Next she gave him some painkillers to ease the pain. I felt hopeless because there was nothing else we could do. Nothing. He would stand up and then lie back down, roll around some more. For horses, this can be very dangerous, sometimes fatal, because when they roll they sometimes can wrap up their large intestine in circles and kill themselves.
I was so upset because things had been completely normal that morning. I rode Shiner in the new arena and practiced barrel racing, talked about even doing a rodeo next summer. Now I was wondering if he would even make it through the night. Many people came to help us, and they all started to leave. Pretty soon it was my dad, my brother and me standing over Shiner. He couldn't stand anymore, so he just laid on his back and rolled about every 5 minutes. I was in tears. I ran back to the house, went to my room and poured out my soul to God. "Please don't take Shiner from us," I pleaded. I must have prayed over a dozen times within the next 2 hours, going back into the house to ask God to protect this poor horse. 5 hours past. Christmas Eve dinner was over (I hadn't even gone in to get food.) Dad eventually convinced me to come inside, saying there was nothing else we could do for him. I prayed so long that night I had to actually sit down because my knees hurt so bad.
I woke up the next morning with feelings of pain and anxiety. Instead of looking at what Santa brought me, I quickly put on my boots and ran outside. He was still alive. Christmas miracle at best! Although he was weak, he was still here with us. He hadn't passed anything, which meant he was really backed up. He really needed to go to the bathroom, so my dad and I took turns walking him around to try to make him go. Nothing. So we decided to wait and just keep checking on him. After the most depressing Christmas morning of opening presents and half-eaten breakfast, I went back out to check on him. Still on the ground. This time I said a prayer while kneeing next to him. He lifted his head up after I was done and that gave me hope. I felt comforted after that so I went back inside to get ready for dinner at Mumsie's. As we were about to leave, I was almost out the door to check on Shiner again when my dad stopped me and said "I don't think he's going to make it, let's let him be."
I was not discouraged, although it made me cry some more. I prayed again before we left that Shiner would still be ok when we got home. I put on the best smile I could and went to dinner.
We came home to find Aidan and his boys watching Shiner. They had helped us with him yesterday and were already back to help again. (Love them to death.) He was still ok! Weak, but still here. I felt more hope. This time I felt enough to have faith that this horse was going to make it. I didn't know how, but he was. My dad thought differently. As he was calling the vet to talk about the options, I went inside to pray again. When I came back out, happy voices greeted me. "He pooped Sadie!!" Jonah told me. This meant he had passed the oil the vet had gave him, or at least some of it. Apparently he looked awful when I went inside, and when I came back out he jumped up and rain around, pooped, and even drank some water. This was the best sign we had received the last two days. This horse was surely living on a prayer. With high hopes, we left to go to bed.
The next morning he was standing on his own. My dad had decided to take him to the ranch vet, so we loaded him up and started driving to Wickenburg. When we got there, we unloaded him and saw he had passed more oil. More good news! The vet took a look at him, and said he was a little dehydrated, otherwise he was looking better. We decided that he had been really bloated from a protein block he had eaten too much of, but that he would be ok. He gave him some electrolytes and water, and we put him in a stall and planned to come get him within the next two days.
That was the last time I saw Shiner. As we were about to go quadding this morning, my dad received a call from the vet. Shiner had passed away. I was extremely shocked. I still am. That horse made it through hell and somehow didn't make it the last couple steps. Life just doesn't make sense sometimes I guess. That horse really taught me to have some faith and believe in miracles though. It's not every day you see things like that happen. After an autopsy on him, the vet found that some sort of cancerous thing had grown on his large intestine. I guess I felt a little better, knowing we had done all we could do. Still, losing him was rough on my whole family. That horse will be sorely missed.
Rest in peace Shiner.
I had quite the experience Christmas Eve. It started off just like always, everyone's working to get the house clean, food is being made in the kitchen, Christmas music blaring through the speakers. And I was just about as happy as I could be! I was home, it wasn't snowing outside, my horses were home, and I was going to see my whole family.
Of course, chaos always ensues during perfect times like these. Literally 10 minutes before we are about to eat, my mom rushes through the garage door looking a little concerned. I asked her what was up.
"It's Shiner, he's not doing too well. Dad thinks he's sick. Don't go out there though!"
Funny, to tell me not to go out when one of my babies is sick. I immediately ran outside and stood watch while my dad took Shiner around in circles in the arena. He looked awful. He was sweating and breathing really hard. For a horse as athletic as him to look this way, I already knew it was worse than my mom had described. As they walked around, Shiner began to wobble and fall over. Finally my dad had to lay him down on the ground. He rolled on his back from time to time and looked like he was in an awful amount of pain. My mom had previously called the vet and we were anxiously awaiting her arrival. 10 minutes, 20 minutes past. I was getting angry. 40 minutes later she showed up and casually walked up to inspect the scene.
I already didn't like her. As she checked Shiner's heartbeat, blood pressure, etc etc everything came up normal. She checked his anal and that was also fine as she could tell. Next she gave him some painkillers to ease the pain. I felt hopeless because there was nothing else we could do. Nothing. He would stand up and then lie back down, roll around some more. For horses, this can be very dangerous, sometimes fatal, because when they roll they sometimes can wrap up their large intestine in circles and kill themselves.
I was so upset because things had been completely normal that morning. I rode Shiner in the new arena and practiced barrel racing, talked about even doing a rodeo next summer. Now I was wondering if he would even make it through the night. Many people came to help us, and they all started to leave. Pretty soon it was my dad, my brother and me standing over Shiner. He couldn't stand anymore, so he just laid on his back and rolled about every 5 minutes. I was in tears. I ran back to the house, went to my room and poured out my soul to God. "Please don't take Shiner from us," I pleaded. I must have prayed over a dozen times within the next 2 hours, going back into the house to ask God to protect this poor horse. 5 hours past. Christmas Eve dinner was over (I hadn't even gone in to get food.) Dad eventually convinced me to come inside, saying there was nothing else we could do for him. I prayed so long that night I had to actually sit down because my knees hurt so bad.
I woke up the next morning with feelings of pain and anxiety. Instead of looking at what Santa brought me, I quickly put on my boots and ran outside. He was still alive. Christmas miracle at best! Although he was weak, he was still here with us. He hadn't passed anything, which meant he was really backed up. He really needed to go to the bathroom, so my dad and I took turns walking him around to try to make him go. Nothing. So we decided to wait and just keep checking on him. After the most depressing Christmas morning of opening presents and half-eaten breakfast, I went back out to check on him. Still on the ground. This time I said a prayer while kneeing next to him. He lifted his head up after I was done and that gave me hope. I felt comforted after that so I went back inside to get ready for dinner at Mumsie's. As we were about to leave, I was almost out the door to check on Shiner again when my dad stopped me and said "I don't think he's going to make it, let's let him be."
I was not discouraged, although it made me cry some more. I prayed again before we left that Shiner would still be ok when we got home. I put on the best smile I could and went to dinner.
We came home to find Aidan and his boys watching Shiner. They had helped us with him yesterday and were already back to help again. (Love them to death.) He was still ok! Weak, but still here. I felt more hope. This time I felt enough to have faith that this horse was going to make it. I didn't know how, but he was. My dad thought differently. As he was calling the vet to talk about the options, I went inside to pray again. When I came back out, happy voices greeted me. "He pooped Sadie!!" Jonah told me. This meant he had passed the oil the vet had gave him, or at least some of it. Apparently he looked awful when I went inside, and when I came back out he jumped up and rain around, pooped, and even drank some water. This was the best sign we had received the last two days. This horse was surely living on a prayer. With high hopes, we left to go to bed.
The next morning he was standing on his own. My dad had decided to take him to the ranch vet, so we loaded him up and started driving to Wickenburg. When we got there, we unloaded him and saw he had passed more oil. More good news! The vet took a look at him, and said he was a little dehydrated, otherwise he was looking better. We decided that he had been really bloated from a protein block he had eaten too much of, but that he would be ok. He gave him some electrolytes and water, and we put him in a stall and planned to come get him within the next two days.
That was the last time I saw Shiner. As we were about to go quadding this morning, my dad received a call from the vet. Shiner had passed away. I was extremely shocked. I still am. That horse made it through hell and somehow didn't make it the last couple steps. Life just doesn't make sense sometimes I guess. That horse really taught me to have some faith and believe in miracles though. It's not every day you see things like that happen. After an autopsy on him, the vet found that some sort of cancerous thing had grown on his large intestine. I guess I felt a little better, knowing we had done all we could do. Still, losing him was rough on my whole family. That horse will be sorely missed.
Rest in peace Shiner.
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Understanding The Heart.
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.
Such a true statement.... What's on my mind? Missions. Letting people I love go for two years. Possible letting myself go on a mission for two years. My head and heart are miserable right now. You know how there's that one guy who you've always had a thing for, but time, fate, and distance never seem to let you be together. Time passes so quickly that pretty soon you're both at the point of no return.... the final farewell.
Seriously, where does the time go? I can still remember being so concerned about little high school details, like how popular I was, what people thought of me. Driving around tonight I listened to "Never Grow Up." Honestly, it made me tear up. Especially the part,"I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone." Not that I've lost a lot, I've probably gained more than lost, yet I still feel like time just ignores me when I tell it to slow down. I mean, I'm almost halfway done with my first year of college! I guess I need to just enjoy every moment a little more.
Why is the hardest decision always over the easiest things.
Such a true statement.... What's on my mind? Missions. Letting people I love go for two years. Possible letting myself go on a mission for two years. My head and heart are miserable right now. You know how there's that one guy who you've always had a thing for, but time, fate, and distance never seem to let you be together. Time passes so quickly that pretty soon you're both at the point of no return.... the final farewell.
Seriously, where does the time go? I can still remember being so concerned about little high school details, like how popular I was, what people thought of me. Driving around tonight I listened to "Never Grow Up." Honestly, it made me tear up. Especially the part,"I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone." Not that I've lost a lot, I've probably gained more than lost, yet I still feel like time just ignores me when I tell it to slow down. I mean, I'm almost halfway done with my first year of college! I guess I need to just enjoy every moment a little more.
Why is the hardest decision always over the easiest things.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Sometimes There Are No Words
This week has no doubt been a very trying and heartbreaking period for America. As our country mourns the loss of 20 beautiful children and six inspirational teachers, it's hard to find the right words of comfort or of peace. When a loved one passes away, especially when it's in a brutal matter, it's hard not to think, Why them? Why did this happen to them? They didn't deserve this in any way, they had a long life ahead of them.
I don't think we will ever be able to comprehend why such awful things, like the Connecticut shooting, happen.
I want to let everyone reading this know that God has a greater plan, and a greater purpose for everything we see as "horrific" and "unimaginable". Sometimes in our grief we forget that God will take care of all our needs if we put our burdens on him. He sacrificed so that we don't have to suffer. Most importantly, he love us SO MUCH. And I know that he is taking care of those precious little angels now in heaven. My heart aches for the families who lost their children, but they should know that they will see them again. This life is not the end. With God there is no end.
I have two things I want to share about the shootings. One is from Morgan Freeman:
"You want to know why. This may sound cynical, but here's why.
It's because of the way the media reports it. Flip on the news and watch how we treat the Batman theater shooter and the Oregon mall shooter like celebrities. Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris are household names, but do you know the name of a single *victim* of Columbine? Disturbed
people who would otherwise just off themselves in their basements see the news and want to top it by doing something worse, and going out in a memorable way. Why a grade school? Why children? Because he'll be remembered as a horrible monster, instead of a sad nobody.
CNN's article says that if the body count "holds up", this will rank as the second deadliest shooting behind Virginia Tech, as if statistics somehow make one shooting worse than another. Then they post a video interview of third-graders for all the details of what they saw and heard while the shootings were happening. Fox News has plastered the killer's face on all their reports for hours. Any articles or news stories yet that focus on the victims and ignore the killer's identity? None that I've seen yet. Because they don't sell. So congratulations, sensationalist media, you've just lit the fire for someone to top this and knock off a day care center or a maternity ward next.
You can help by forgetting you ever read this man's name, and remembering the name of at least one victim. You can help by donating to mental health research instead of pointing to gun control as the problem. You can help by turning off the news."
I don't think we will ever be able to comprehend why such awful things, like the Connecticut shooting, happen.
I want to let everyone reading this know that God has a greater plan, and a greater purpose for everything we see as "horrific" and "unimaginable". Sometimes in our grief we forget that God will take care of all our needs if we put our burdens on him. He sacrificed so that we don't have to suffer. Most importantly, he love us SO MUCH. And I know that he is taking care of those precious little angels now in heaven. My heart aches for the families who lost their children, but they should know that they will see them again. This life is not the end. With God there is no end.
I have two things I want to share about the shootings. One is from Morgan Freeman:
"You want to know why. This may sound cynical, but here's why.
It's because of the way the media reports it. Flip on the news and watch how we treat the Batman theater shooter and the Oregon mall shooter like celebrities. Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris are household names, but do you know the name of a single *victim* of Columbine? Disturbed
people who would otherwise just off themselves in their basements see the news and want to top it by doing something worse, and going out in a memorable way. Why a grade school? Why children? Because he'll be remembered as a horrible monster, instead of a sad nobody.
CNN's article says that if the body count "holds up", this will rank as the second deadliest shooting behind Virginia Tech, as if statistics somehow make one shooting worse than another. Then they post a video interview of third-graders for all the details of what they saw and heard while the shootings were happening. Fox News has plastered the killer's face on all their reports for hours. Any articles or news stories yet that focus on the victims and ignore the killer's identity? None that I've seen yet. Because they don't sell. So congratulations, sensationalist media, you've just lit the fire for someone to top this and knock off a day care center or a maternity ward next.
You can help by forgetting you ever read this man's name, and remembering the name of at least one victim. You can help by donating to mental health research instead of pointing to gun control as the problem. You can help by turning off the news."
He speaks the truth. How would you like the media swarming you after a tragedy like this?
Second is a poem written by Cameo Smith.
Twas' 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38
when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven's gate.
their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air.
they could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.
they were filled with such joy, they didn't know what to say.
when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven's gate.
their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air.
they could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.
they were filled with such joy, they didn't know what to say.
they remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day.
"where are we?" asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.
"this is heaven." declared a small boy. "we're spending Christmas at God's house."
when what to their wondering eyes did appear,
but Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near.
He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.
then He opened His arms and He called them by name.
and in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring
those children all flew into the arms of their King
and as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace,
one small girl turned and looked at Jesus' face.
and as if He could read all the questions she had
He gently whispered to her, "I'll take care of mom and dad."
then He looked down on earth, the world far below
He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe
then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand,
"Let My power and presence re-enter this land!"
"may this country be delivered from the hands of fools"
"I'm taking back my nation. I'm taking back my schools!"
then He and the children stood up without a sound.
"come now my children, let me show you around."
excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran.
all displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.
and i heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,
"in the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT."
"where are we?" asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.
"this is heaven." declared a small boy. "we're spending Christmas at God's house."
when what to their wondering eyes did appear,
but Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near.
He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.
then He opened His arms and He called them by name.
and in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring
those children all flew into the arms of their King
and as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace,
one small girl turned and looked at Jesus' face.
and as if He could read all the questions she had
He gently whispered to her, "I'll take care of mom and dad."
then He looked down on earth, the world far below
He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe
then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand,
"Let My power and presence re-enter this land!"
"may this country be delivered from the hands of fools"
"I'm taking back my nation. I'm taking back my schools!"
then He and the children stood up without a sound.
"come now my children, let me show you around."
excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran.
all displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.
and i heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,
"in the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT."
Jesus lives. He died and he lives for us. I know the kids and teachers who passed away this week went straight to God and now dwell with him. What a blessing to know that Christ lives, and that we will live again.
May God bless and protect the families of those taken away.
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