I really don't understand life sometimes. It can be perfect in a moment, complete chaos the next.
I had quite the experience Christmas Eve. It started off just like always, everyone's working to get the house clean, food is being made in the kitchen, Christmas music blaring through the speakers. And I was just about as happy as I could be! I was home, it wasn't snowing outside, my horses were home, and I was going to see my whole family.
Of course, chaos always ensues during perfect times like these. Literally 10 minutes before we are about to eat, my mom rushes through the garage door looking a little concerned. I asked her what was up.
"It's Shiner, he's not doing too well. Dad thinks he's sick. Don't go out there though!"
Funny, to tell me not to go out when one of my babies is sick. I immediately ran outside and stood watch while my dad took Shiner around in circles in the arena. He looked awful. He was sweating and breathing really hard. For a horse as athletic as him to look this way, I already knew it was worse than my mom had described. As they walked around, Shiner began to wobble and fall over. Finally my dad had to lay him down on the ground. He rolled on his back from time to time and looked like he was in an awful amount of pain. My mom had previously called the vet and we were anxiously awaiting her arrival. 10 minutes, 20 minutes past. I was getting angry. 40 minutes later she showed up and casually walked up to inspect the scene.
I already didn't like her. As she checked Shiner's heartbeat, blood pressure, etc etc everything came up normal. She checked his anal and that was also fine as she could tell. Next she gave him some painkillers to ease the pain. I felt hopeless because there was nothing else we could do. Nothing. He would stand up and then lie back down, roll around some more. For horses, this can be very dangerous, sometimes fatal, because when they roll they sometimes can wrap up their large intestine in circles and kill themselves.
I was so upset because things had been completely normal that morning. I rode Shiner in the new arena and practiced barrel racing, talked about even doing a rodeo next summer. Now I was wondering if he would even make it through the night. Many people came to help us, and they all started to leave. Pretty soon it was my dad, my brother and me standing over Shiner. He couldn't stand anymore, so he just laid on his back and rolled about every 5 minutes. I was in tears. I ran back to the house, went to my room and poured out my soul to God. "Please don't take Shiner from us," I pleaded. I must have prayed over a dozen times within the next 2 hours, going back into the house to ask God to protect this poor horse. 5 hours past. Christmas Eve dinner was over (I hadn't even gone in to get food.) Dad eventually convinced me to come inside, saying there was nothing else we could do for him. I prayed so long that night I had to actually sit down because my knees hurt so bad.
I woke up the next morning with feelings of pain and anxiety. Instead of looking at what Santa brought me, I quickly put on my boots and ran outside. He was still alive. Christmas miracle at best! Although he was weak, he was still here with us. He hadn't passed anything, which meant he was really backed up. He really needed to go to the bathroom, so my dad and I took turns walking him around to try to make him go. Nothing. So we decided to wait and just keep checking on him. After the most depressing Christmas morning of opening presents and half-eaten breakfast, I went back out to check on him. Still on the ground. This time I said a prayer while kneeing next to him. He lifted his head up after I was done and that gave me hope. I felt comforted after that so I went back inside to get ready for dinner at Mumsie's. As we were about to leave, I was almost out the door to check on Shiner again when my dad stopped me and said "I don't think he's going to make it, let's let him be."
I was not discouraged, although it made me cry some more. I prayed again before we left that Shiner would still be ok when we got home. I put on the best smile I could and went to dinner.
We came home to find Aidan and his boys watching Shiner. They had helped us with him yesterday and were already back to help again. (Love them to death.) He was still ok! Weak, but still here. I felt more hope. This time I felt enough to have faith that this horse was going to make it. I didn't know how, but he was. My dad thought differently. As he was calling the vet to talk about the options, I went inside to pray again. When I came back out, happy voices greeted me. "He pooped Sadie!!" Jonah told me. This meant he had passed the oil the vet had gave him, or at least some of it. Apparently he looked awful when I went inside, and when I came back out he jumped up and rain around, pooped, and even drank some water. This was the best sign we had received the last two days. This horse was surely living on a prayer. With high hopes, we left to go to bed.
The next morning he was standing on his own. My dad had decided to take him to the ranch vet, so we loaded him up and started driving to Wickenburg. When we got there, we unloaded him and saw he had passed more oil. More good news! The vet took a look at him, and said he was a little dehydrated, otherwise he was looking better. We decided that he had been really bloated from a protein block he had eaten too much of, but that he would be ok. He gave him some electrolytes and water, and we put him in a stall and planned to come get him within the next two days.
That was the last time I saw Shiner. As we were about to go quadding this morning, my dad received a call from the vet. Shiner had passed away. I was extremely shocked. I still am. That horse made it through hell and somehow didn't make it the last couple steps. Life just doesn't make sense sometimes I guess. That horse really taught me to have some faith and believe in miracles though. It's not every day you see things like that happen. After an autopsy on him, the vet found that some sort of cancerous thing had grown on his large intestine. I guess I felt a little better, knowing we had done all we could do. Still, losing him was rough on my whole family. That horse will be sorely missed.
Rest in peace Shiner.
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