Nocturnal Notions.

It's around that time of the night when I'm about thirty minutes into my "I think I'm almost asleep phase" when suddenly my brain kicks in and sleep is no longer an option.

It's a blessing and a curse.
Obviously it's a curse because well, I need my beauty sleep. (Hereditary under-eye circles and a lack of sleep equal a very scary looking Sadie.) It's sort of a blessing because I remember things I'm supposed to do, I think about the things I look forward to, and I think about the future. Most people would consider this to also be a curse but I've come to like it. There's some days I want to shut it off but how often do you get to just ponder all the things you really want to think about, not just thinking about "Oh I have to think about the errands I need to run" or thoughts like that.

My thoughts right now are turned towards home. HOME HOME HOME HOME THERE'S NO FREAKIN PLACE LIKE HOME. My exact thoughts. I miss the heat. I miss the sun. I miss my family. I miss being able to walk outside and feel like your dying inside. I miss being tan. I miss the lake. I miss fresh food. I miss my room. I miss my horses. I miss my pool. I miss my AZ friends.
And I get to have it all back in a few days :) Two to be exact!

Don't get me wrong, I'm gonna miss Provo a lot. This past year has been the best of times and the worst of times (Name that author), but it has shaped me into a person I didn't know I had capabilities of becoming. I've grown up so much, I'VE even noticed. Of course I still feel really young sometimes, but I've learned some valuable lessons from being on my own. It's been a privilege to come to BYU. Honestly.

My first blog post about BYU was about how I wanted to create a legacy. I realize now that is a lot to live up to, and I know I can accomplish it but it will take more time than planned. I also realize that being up here has prepared me to go on a mission! Living on my own, learning constantly, living with someone 24/7 is all part of the mission standards. I couldn't have received that knowledge without this experience.

Here's to a new chapter in the book I'm writing, and even though these past pages have been filled with tear marks, a lot of white-out and a few missing pages, I wouldn't have traded it for anything.




Let's begin again.