Tears Are Salty For A Reason

If life were easy, it wouldn't be hard, right?

I guess. I don't understand a lot of things about life, and I probably never will, but I do know that sometimes it can be really difficult to deal with. I feel like I have so many decisions to make right now, yet I don't want to decide anything. Here I am, sitting in a life-size snow globe in Provo, and I feel like Satan just keeps shaking it up to see what I will do next. What will I do next? Who knows.

Taking it one day at a time. That's the way to do it right? For me, taking it a day at a time means figuring out the next day while it's still today. (Another problem I have- The future is always in my brain.) Maybe I'm just a little crazy up there. Hence why I'm writing in the first hours of the morning, my insomnia seems to know me better than I do myself.

I recall posting the very first time I came up to BYU. It was about legacy. What kind of legacy am I creating? I have no idea what I'm going to do now. Almost everything I have planned has fallen through. Every detail. Do you know what I saw that gave me some hope though? A famous LDS singer, Mindy Gledhill, admitted a few days ago that she tried out for her high school musical, BYU women's chorus, and BYU Ambassadors, and did not make any of them. Every single one turned her down. And now? She's among the most popular LDS singers today. Not saying that I think I have a future in music like she does, but it reminded me that winners don't quit. When the going gets tough, the tough get going, etc, etc.

Even though I don't really understand my life right now, two things will always remain constant- I will never give up, and I know that my Heavenly Father will never give up on me. He is my greatest advocate right now, and even though I don't understand his plans, I know that he will mold me into the woman he wants me to become. What a blessing it is to know he loves and cares for me.

I'm praying that my brain will shut itself off soon. In the meantime, here's to the snow, the tears, and the years to come.