Chapters Are Part of the Book.

Perfectionists like to have everything in order. At all times. In all circumstances. Perfectionists like to know what they're doing, where they're going, and why they're doing it. I thought I had a firm grip on what I wanted to do in my future. You know, change the world with my music. Guess it's not going to happen after all. I met with the director of Piano Studies to decide what I should do. Mind you, he offered to take me in as a student. That was both a huge compliment and privilege.

We discussed my current standing in piano (way below average compared to the current students), and he ranked me as "All odds are against you getting into this program." Nice stab to the heart. But I took it well, because I expected it. Most of these kids have been practicing to audition next January for the past 2 or 3 years. They are slaves to the piano. It is expected that students will practice an estimated 5-7 hours every day. Yeah, I said EVERY.

I'm not saying I don't have passion. In fact I'd like to think I have more than some of those students anyways. And I know what practicing for that long turns you into, a zombie. A robot. Everything just becomes monotonous, boring, and makes you feel exhausted. In a sense, by wanting to perfect your skills, your also lowering your desire to play. Ironic, isn't it?

So I prayed about it. I thought about it more than every 5 minutes. And I just can't see myself taking that sort of path. So I just sent out the dreaded email, that I will not be studying for the music program. And now, I'm back to square one again.

Take a good look at the quote on the right --------------------------------------------------------------------------->

Because it's my new motto, whether I want it to be or not.